Although obviously the Express would have gone with "Stare in bewilderment after angelic princess's tragedy (8)"

…and it would have been a better clue.

Late last year, a police officer was accused of inserting song titles into his testimony in a shooting inquest. It went around several newspapers, but when I read the actual transcript I couldn’t see anything amiss. Frankly, there are so many songs around these days, and so many of their names are common phrases, that it’s hard to imagine any lengthy passage would fail to contain at least loads of them.

I mention this because this week there have been loads of reports about the News Of The World’s valedictory crossword containing ‘hidden messages’ to Rupert Murdoch and Rebekah Brooks.

So you can judge for yourself, here are some answers from the crossword that came out on Sunday:

And here are a few clues:

I think you’ll agree that’s pretty compelling stuff.

These answers and clues genuinely appeared in crosswords on Sunday, but specifically they came from the Guardian’s cryptic, quick and Quiptic crosswords. (Monday’s, if I’m totally honest, but they go online at 11pm on the Sunday night, which is what I searched for.) You are looking at the control group. I invite you to find any cryptic crossword, from any issue of any newspaper, and look for words and clues that relate to any story you please. I promise there’ll be at least a couple, especially if you cast your net wide enough that you’ll accept “disaster” and ”repel odd change that’s regretted”, which is at best rather flouncy poetry on the theme of hackgate.

And yet… From the Mirror:

SACKED News of the World staff had the last laugh over News International chief Rebekah Brooks yesterday – by burying a host of insults allegedly directed at her in the newspaper’s crossword. The page 47 puzzle was loaded with less-than subtle digs at the former editor over her decision to cling to her job. The clues and answers hinted the furious axed staff a were having a dig at her.

And the Guardian:

Despite two senior executives from outside the Screws' newsroom scanning the paper for defiant missives before publication, journalists successfully hid their revenge on Rebekah Brooks in the crossword. "Disaster", "tart", "menace", "stench" and "racket" were among the answers, while clues included "Woman stares wildly at calamity", "criminal enterprise", "repel odd change that's regretted" and "mix in prison", with "Brook" and "lamented", "stink" and "catastrophe" lobbed in for good measure.

From Canada’s National Post:

LONDON — Disgruntled staff at the doomed News of the World took out cerebral revenge on their former bosses with a series of pointed clues and answers in the newspaper’s final ever crosswords. Compilers used their two puzzles to slam News International chief executive Rebekah Brooks and lamented the actions of previous employees who created the phone-hacking scandal which brought down the 168-year-old title. Cryptic clues included “Woman stares wildly at calamity”, which led to the solution “disaster” and “Stellar student follows a star incorrectly.” ... Clues in the quick crossword included “Brook”, “Lamented”, “Prestige”, “Stink”, “Catastrophe” and “Criminal enterprise” while answers included “Tart” and “Stench.”

And from the BBC, in an article so poorly written it damn well better have a hidden message in there:

The paper reports on the News of the World journalists who got their message out in the last edition of their crossword. "Disaster", "tart", "menace", "stench" and "racket" were among the answers, while clues included "Woman stares wildly at calamity", "criminal enterprise", "repel odd change that's regretted" and "mix in prison", with "lamented", "stink" and "catastrophe".

It would be remiss of me not to include it, so here is the crossword in question:

news-of-the-world-crossword-from-its-final-edition-744643240

And the answers are, blacked out in case you want to play along:

  1. Letter (dual def)
  2. Firewall (new = anag)
  3. Dimmer (dual def)
  4. Repast (rep + sat; prepared = anag)
  5. Seat (sent = anag)
  6. Menace (men + ace)
  7. Medicine (spent = anag)
  8. Ewer (off = anag)
  9. Stream (new = anag)
  10. Astral (L + anag)
  11. Area (thefAREAst)
  12. Retainer (dual def)
  13. Increase (in + crease)
  14. Deplored (change = anag)
  15. Estate (out = anag)
  16. Reside (new = anag)
  17. Desist (maDESISTer)
  18. Cord (reCORDings)
  19. Racket (dual def)
  20. Status (stats with u)
  21. Tart (sTARTed)
  22. Stench (s + tench)
  23. Stir (dual def)
  24. Disaster (Di + anag)

Now, the first thing to be said here is that while 11ac is either using “part” to mean “area” or attempting a frankly dismal &lit, “woman stares wildly at calamity” is rather lovely, aside perhaps from the slightly dodgy use of “at” as a definition indicator.

But perhaps more importantly than quibbling over the use of “have” to mean “contains” in 17 down, when newspapers report, say, “stink” and “stench”, without mentioning that the one is a definition clue for the other, they are overstating the case somewhat. The Guardian even lists both cryptic and quick clues, along with the answer, for the same entry, as if they’re independent variables. They’re not: if the answer is “disaster”, the clues are hardly going to be anything nice. Meanwhile “retainer” and “increase” are totally off-theme, and nobody’s mentioned the second crossword on that page, to which the answers were:

  1. Baroque
  2. Scuttle
  3. Pippa
  4. Endorphin
  5. Geysers
  6. Osborne
  7. Arctic Monkeys
  8. Holt
  9. Patio
  10. Treasurer
  11. Sloe
  12. Quill
  13. Pepperoni
  14. Androcles
  15. Onassis
  16. Dilemma
  17. Spanish
  18. Parsnip
  19. Hogarth
  20. Tipperary
  21. Tarot
  22. Sushi
  23. Tern
  24. Corfu
  25. Siam
  26. Messerschmitt

(OK, the National Post mention it, but not in a way that would indicate they read it.) I would have said “scuttle” was on the theme there.

What I’m saying is that if this is News of the World’s idea of a themed crossword then I’m only surprised they survived this long.

What I’m saying is that this is just a normal crossword, probably set a month ago, and nobody should be impressed by it’s ‘hidden messages’, because they simply don’t exist.