The Weeping Manifesto
Because this particular combination of things is unlikely to ever become this topical for a third time, I’m posting a very slightly updated version of a sketch I wrote during series two of Newsjack and wasn’t used. You may draw your own conclusions as to why not:
PRESENTER:
You may have noticed David Tennant's voice on Labour's party election broadcasts. Tennant once branded Tory leader David Cameron “a regional newsreader who’ll jump on any bandwagon that flies past,” so we’ve invited Tennant and Cameron into the studio.
TENNANT:
Hello.
CAMERON:
Hello.
PRESENTER:
So first of all, David, what is it about the Conservatives you don’t like?
TENNANT:
Have you seen their manifesto? It’s terrifying. I mean, just look at it!
PRESENTER:
Where is it? All I can see is a statue of a weeping angel.
TENNANT:
Exactly!
PRESENTER:
Mr Cameron, how do you respond to this?
CAMERON:
You know, we’re not so different, David and I. I airbrushed my face, and he regenerated into a 27-year-old.
PRESENTER:
Okay. So David, you say—
TENNANT:
No! Keep looking at the manifesto! If you look away, it can move. See, you glanced at me then and it changed its position on tax breaks for married couples.
CAMERON:
Oh, don’t be so melodramatic. Our policies are not dangerous.
PRESENTER:
Alright then. Now, David, you said that Mr Cameron—
F/X: Suddenly, there is a gentle breeze blowing. a sheep baas in the distance
PRESENTER:
What happened? Where are we?
CAMERON:
1922.
PRESENTER:
What? How?
TENNANT:
I warned you! You have to keep a close eye on Conservative policies or you end up living in the 1920s.
PRESENTER:
Well, normally at this point I’d say that’s all we’ve got time for, but since we now have 88 years before our slot ends...
TENNANT:
Come on, I’ll give you a lift.